How many of following have you worked on

Recently I was thinking about the many comical terms, that have been assigned to software over the years. Here I have compiled a list of variations on the ware names. The only thing that can be guaranteed in life is that at some point in time you know you have worked on or used at least one or if not all from each category.

Glossyware

Glossyware is software that has been supplied with substantial amounts of marketing hype. The software itself will normally be very basic and simple but the supporting documentation and sales information will be full of jargon and buzzwords, making revolutionary and outragous claims. Usually stating ground breaking features and functionality that if not inaccurate is optmistic at best.

You know the ones, racks full of leaflets with bullets points and screenshots, mini websites for you to read through, that leave you more confused the more you read. You know when you have worked on one of these when you have built most of the application yourself, but when you read sales informaion you think they are talking about a completely different program.

Abandonware

Abandonware is software that for whatever reason is no longer supported by development. Abandonware is common. Even once great software that in it's day was very popular. I can think of numerous utilities, messaging clients, office suites, even operating systems that once served a purpose but now are Abandonware. This could be for a number of reasons. The most common is that there is neither sufficient demand to continue said software or it is no longer financially viable to produce said software.

There is the odd occasion where Abandonware will be developed by companies in secret, in order to have the element of surprise over it's competitors and take the market by storm. But for whatever reason, lack of market interest, lack of any real marketing, it can become Abandonware before it leaves beta.

Vaporware

Vaporware is the comedy pick of the terms thus far, and my personal favourite. Vaporware is software that simply at no point in time has ever existed. Vaporware can be that program or website that you have told people about, or even that online store you promised to build for your wife that you just haven't got round to making yet.

In the commercial world big company's sometimes produce Vaporware on purpose. They will even hold press conferences and show conceptual screenshots of their alleged applications, knowing that they may never exist. They will do this to scare/discourage smaller development companies from building similar or alternative applications.

Of course there are some very famous examples of software that was once thought to be Vaporware that has since been proved to be real. But you couldn't mention Vaporware without mentioning Duke Nukem Forever with it's initial release date of 1997 is now thought to be being released in 2011. This one strikes a chord with my personal hart strings, as it's predecessor Duke Nukem 3D was my favourite game on it's release in 1996 when I was 14.

Shovelware

Shovelware is software that you get when someone buys brand new computer pre-installed with windows. They boot it only to find that the desktop is full of icons and programs (Shareware). Within seconds of logging in you are bombarded with multiple registration forms for anti-virus, anti-spyware, etc, for programs that you have never even heard of (Nagware). You then decided to open an internet browser and half of the screen is taken up with toolbars. :) That's when you realised you've been shovelled.

The solution to is install Linux, or if that's not an option, re-install windows. It might also be worth adding that pc suppliers have gotten wise to this and have stopped shipping the OS cd's leaving you with the chore of cleaning your new machine if you wish to persevere with Windows.

Take care all and thanks for reading!